Some lip service, if you will…

So, let me just start by saying that I’m currently going through some bullshit and I’m MOST DEFINITELY will come across as a mean, old bitch but I don’t care because today’s post is about tolerance and listening . If your week started like mine, period cramps, face breakout, bloating and just an overall annoyance of FUCKING people, then welcome to my pulpit fellow complainer. This post is gonna be all over the goddamn place because I just don’t have it in me to mince my fucking words today and I’m literally bleeding out as I write this…

You’ve had a shitty day and all you wanna do is call your friend/boo/lover extraordinaire and bitch about said day. We all do it and we all understand that sometimes you’re not looking for advice, you just want someone to say “Girl, I feel you!!” and just act like they mean it ( I’m saying act, because I’m acknowledging that the other person probably has their own shit going on…). Humans need humans and humans in 2016 need someone or someones to vent about the difficulties of paying bills/mortgage/rent and general first world bullshit. So I call and proceeded to bitch and moan. Instead of just feigning interest, I was meant with a condescending comment how about my problems are not as big as theirs, which maybe is true (but  like, pardon me bitch?!?!), but I wasn’t calling to compare problems. First off, many problems are minimal like duh!!! We’re all vapid, self-involved assholes mostly concern with ourselves, so I’m not sure what program she’s been following this whole time. WE all think that our problems are bigger than they are (and some legitimately are), but that’s not the point.

What really had me shook is the fact that this person felt it up to them to decide whether or not my problems were worth their time. I’ll even go as far and say that this person could be right, but who the fuck are you to dismiss my issues.  As a friend, there have been PLENTY of times where I didn’t want to listen to someone complain about their spouse/children/work/neighbors for the 1500th time, but I shut my mouth and listen. Because I knew that this person needed someone and safe place to vent. I’ve listen through tears and fights, I’ve heard some stuff on the phone that would make you cringe in dismay or just utter disbelief. But again I kept my mouth shut not because I knew it wasn’t about me or whatever mood I was in at the time.

We vent to the people closest to us to express frustration but also because we know that they’ll listen (mostly) without judgement (or at least have to decency to keep it to themselves). WE all seek that person who’s going to tell us that things are going to get better (listen, the house may be on fire, but sometimes a white little lie is all you need to keep yourself from burning alive).When you’re the one always doing the listening and the comforting, your closest friends can forget that YOU sometimes need that shoulder or ear. Sometimes you just need a friend’s strength to get you through…

 

*Illustration by Brad Amorosino*

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