One size doesn’t fit all…

This will probably be one of the articles that my future ex-husband will throw back in my face during our impending divorce. But since I’m neither engaged or in relationship, FUCK IT! There’s a vile rumor going around in the world suggesting that penis size doesn’t matter, that it’s all about “the motion of the ocean” or however the fuck its said. Not sure, how or who got it started but I’m pretty sure it was a man. And I may in the minority here, who feels this way but as far as I know, no one ever got excited because they were about to sit on a short dick…Unless it’s thing somewhere, in the universe…

I’ve met several penises that I didn’t like. And this is now about humiliating or embarrassing anyone with a small dick, some things just can’t be fixed (A little tragic, but I wish them luck…). What can’t helped is knowing that, although he’s good looking, seems to have all shit together (say it with me now, SEEMS…) he’s lacking length and girth. Now you could decide in that very moment that you will Mother Theresa your way through this little problem and call it your good deed for year…But is it ever worth it? Is it better to fake pleasure than to outright let your partner know that “little Johnny” just ain’t up to the orgasmic task at hand? I’ve thought about this enough and I’ve “overlooked” some men’s shortcomings but you know who really suffered through all of that shit…ME!!!! While he’s happily grinning to himself about the “great work” he just put in, and I’m putting my clothes on, thinking what the fuck,  I didn’t feel a thing…

Now some men may read this and think “maybe your vagina is just too big”, to which I say hell yes, it’s so big that its fucking hungry. I’m not bothered by being called a “size queen” or ashamed by the fact that I just love a sizable penis. I like what I like and so do many others, and I will not let a small-minded dick make feel like I’m not worthy of orgasms from a bigger man than him. I should probably start giving my dates a measuring card…At the very least, it’ll make for some more interesting dates.

 

*Illustration by Brad Amorosino*

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