It was all a dream…

I’M NOT where I thought I would be at this point in  my life. Real talk!!! I thought I’d be a doctor by now, saving lives in a third world country somewhere and possibly running for president of said small nation. But alas, like so many other things in my life,  my plans for world domination through health care did not materialize. In fact, all that planning til university, pretty much confirmed what I already knew: I can’t stand the sight of blood, hate the smell of hospital and I hate strangers. A conversation with a girlfriend of mine  got me thinking about my life’s plan and wondering if anyone’s life plan ever works out perfectly, with everything falling into places and others playing their designated roles. Is it realistic that we are eternally conditioned to plan this picture perfect future, considering how volatile life can  really be. Is it stupid of us to really expect our life to be exactly what we wanted it to be 5, 10, or 15 years ago?

Life is a fickle BITCH, that’s just how shit goes. It seems that no matter how much planning you do, this motherfucker will not unfold as you think it should (imagine that!). A couple of my friends are currently going through some life changes, whether it be switching careers or deciding on whether or not to start a family, or is he/she the person they want to spend the rest of their days with. Bottom line, we all seem to hit the same note: feeling somewhat disillusioned with the state of our lives. We had different expectations for them, and now as we are all get older, doubt and regret set in because certain expectations were not met. We’re all raised to strive for this sort of perfection. Plan accordingly and the rest will take care of itself (which is just as bad as that bullshit diet pill that will make you lose that beer belly in 2 weeks). But life doesn’t care about plans, experience, fears, or anything that would and could deeply affect your future. I’m saying this not to discourage anyone from planning the life that they want, but to understand that sometimes the best plans are no plans. Sometimes things happened beyond what you planned for, and these events can be as small as that zit on your ass or as big an unplanned pregnancy (scariest of them all), but they’re all things that could lead you to something way better that your tiny mind couldn’t even conjure. Are you willing to sideline yourself because you couldn’t afford to go to Mexico for reading week or because your marriage fell apart?!? I think the real planning begins when you let go of those expectations and deal with life as it comes. You can always worry about the future or how about how much better life would be if you had a million dollars, but I think that some of those plans are self imposed prisons we place on ourselves in order not take a chance and stay safe…Safe seems to be a better choice than failing!

 

 

*Illustration by Brad Amorosino

 

 

 

 

 

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